i wondered why you didn’t buy me Dixon Ticonderoga®.
or why you never asked me if i liked the smell of them?
you never asked me why i told you that–
Dixon Ticonderoga’s® are the best pencil that a pencil could pencil
if a pencil could pencil a pencil.
YOU never asked me
WHY i bothered to bring it up.
well…
I WANTED YOU TO BUY ME SOME FUCKING!
Dixon Ti-fucking-Conderoga’s®!!
FUCK!
like for christmas or a birthday or thanksgiving
or something.
i wondered if alex buying me ticonderoga’s®,
while he was in spain,
with his father,
with the famous last name–
actually thought,
“hey alyssa loves these and the smell,
and i love her, so well–
i’ll buy them for her instead of this yellow raincoat.”
which he bought me too–
but it was too small
so i gave it to my little sister.
but it’s okay–
i’m big for my age.
alex said he’s sorry he bought me pencils,
and that he’s sorry he’s stupid…
HE’S SO EMBARRASSED by cupid.
but he has to give them to me, cuz of his dad
“who paid the money he had,
to embarrass me so bad”
romanti-FUCKING-ly.
so i said–
YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT ME
DIXON TIFUCKINGROGAS®?
and i kissed you, alex.
and i said, “I FUCKING LOVE YOU.”
“BUY ME ALL THE DIXON TI-FUCKING-ROGAS®
i’m IN fucking LOVE WITH YOU alex.”
you’re the one.
these are my “perfect purple thornless roses,”
not them.
my gaia code for love.
you’re him.
i was a little insane.
but it was not so in vain.
i kept them in a vase
i smelled them like roses–
or flowers.
showered them with all my love.
showed them
to all my best friends.
i was permanently with these pencils
until the end.
so later i met you,
and i wondered if you knew–
that i loved the fucking smell of pencils?
i wondered if you cared that i
loved the way these particular ones write?
the way the ticonderoga’s® drew?
the way the dixon’s® chew?
did you wonder if i was in love with pencils?
cuz you know i’m such an artist
and a writer…
did you think about me that way?
DO YOU NOW?!
fucking buy me pencils.
CUZ I LOVE THEM.
but only buy Dixon Ticonderoga®.
all the other ones suck.
