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The Lover

masterful assertive sensual empathetic soothing dominant

Photo of Alexander Skarsgård (The Lover Archetype, The Champion Nature)

The Lover

Connecting to Others is the baseline for 3 types of people in the world–The Everyman, The Jester & The Lover. These 3 types are inventive, animated, heroic, socially-dominant, masterful, assertive & leaders. The Lover specifically deepens the qualities of dominance & leadership by using his specific energy of Space.


The Lover takes up space, physically & vocally, and can put anyone into submission. He brings an undeniable dominance over everything & everyone. He doesn’t need to be insecure when the object of his desires gets away from him, because it will always come back. He is prime to have his energy taken & stolen, rather than have something he wants leave his hands.

The lover desires to be desired. The experience of Intimacy, closeness & sensual pleasure are what the lover seeks & will use the means they have to achieve it. They are motivated to become more physically & emotionally appealing to increase their capacity to attract others.

They fear being unnoticed, unloved & unwanted. Because their passionate desires cloud their judgement, they can easily be misled. Even when Lovers achieve all their desires, they are still fearful of loss, which is why he desires intimacy above all else. He sells this gift to you & he only responds to it from you. The only other way you can get him to notice you, is to be of service & he will provide for you, his structure, by being of service.

Sebastian Stan (The Lover Archetype, The Athlete Nature)
Tom Hiddleston (The Lover Archetype, The Force Nature)

The Lover Personality

The Lover chooses to live a life of invention, rebellion and recreation.

His life is about breaking down barriers, walls and doors. He paves roads by going to extremes, and he always wins. This life is about his quest to becoming godlike–not because he’s pure or noble or even that spiritual, but because he rises up past what we thought was humanly possible. He impedes on our worldly understanding by rendering it useless.  Never allowing fear to stop him and never worrying that he may not win, he seems to be unstoppable.

The Lover is strong and capable and can end up steamrolling weaker individuals–not caring if there is a diamond in the rough beyond him, and that should be avoided. He will be lonely and even angry without a team of life and respect surrounding him. He will get back what he puts out, so he should have no reason not to encourage, enlighten and spread love to those he encounters.

The Lover is dominant in all areas, including his sex life. But he can feel that sex is a black hole, so he’s never satisfied with strictly sexual relationships.  However, he could rack up a lot of partners before he realizes any of that. Eventually he comes to terms with his desire to align with more soul bonding and real intimacy, over a strictly physical connection.

The Negative Traits: Authoritative Devil. The Lover doesn’t hear no, spits on victims, hates the little guy, and causes pain on purpose. He hides his inner motivations against others, and manipulates people by pulling their love or attention away, when they don’t obey.

Tony Rothschild (The Lover Archetype, The Champion Nature)
The Lover runs the risk of being hated forever by everyone.
Stately Powerful Overbearing
Cultured Personable Pretentious
Determined Supportive Violating
Logical Emotional Unintelligible
Mysterious Genuine Untrustworthy
Effective Idealistic Mean
Persuasive Charming Manipulative
Methodical Modern Oppressive
Respected Disaffected Arrogant
Inspiring Selfish Narcissistic
Monumental Perfect Ridiculed
Elegant Ethereal Defective
Unwavering Nurturing Violating
Simple Genius Unintelligible
Cultured Niche Phony
Effective Idealistic Hated
Seductive Silly Disgusting
Methodical Modern Oppressive
Respected Sexual Disreputable
Light Dark Nothing

Mastery, Halting & Killing

Knowing what you halt, kill & master in others, and in industry, can save a lot of time, and help you value yourself more when others reject you.

Halts Liberation

The Lover tries to be like the Outlaw Archetype at times, but that should be avoided. The Lover is encouraged in this energy, because of how weak they become trying to master it--and people love you to be weak. The Lover naturally puts a stop to Liberation, by their very need of Intimacy--the exact opposite desire. This energy is your 2nd gear--you can do it, in the way that Love can be Fear and vice-versa--but the truth is, you are just hurting yourself & others in the process of being the inversion of yourself.

Kills Safety

The Lover is as far as the east is to the west when it comes to the Innocent Archetype. Because of this, it kills it her on contact. The Lover truly believes that safety and innonce is an abomination in his life & in industry. He has no business in dealing with this energy, dating it, or even trying to secure it financially speaking. The Lover can be attracted to Innocence, by his very nature of wanting to kill all innocent things, but can hurt a lot of women, men & society in the process. We do need safety, so he should approach it cautiously, and understand it puts him into a complete stop--he can't move forward intentionally with this Archetype, woman, or Industry motive.

Masters Innovation

The Lover absolutely masters Innovation, by their obsession with The Creator Archetype. The Creator is the least safe bet, by way of Innovation being dangerous. The Lover kills safety simply by existing, as Intimacy is never safe--think of the sign of Scorpio, the most dangerous sign is not actually death, it is sex. Both the Creator Archetype female & the Industry motive of Innovation, love to be plowed & the Lover love's to plow. They are not identical Archetypes, but they master each other, meaning they are very compatible.

Strategy to achieve The Lover:

To appeal to a Lover you need to make them feel attractive or stir their passionate desires for connection and intimacy. Because of their attraction to sensory pleasure, communication and messaging should use sensual language and tone. Imagery and tone of voice are especially important for The Lover archetype.

People appealing to Lover personalities can get them by sharing their desire for sensual pleasure through sight, sound, smell or touch. The colour red is especially appealing to The Lover.

The Lover is attracted to smart men and women, but also desires beauty & intrigue, and will not pursue otherwise.  They are both shallow visually and deep emotionally, so they have a hard time keeping a relationship that loses it’s excitement mentally, or it’s beauty physically.

The Lover is related to the female version of itself: The Caregiver (Marilyn Monroe)
The Lover is one of the most common types of men in the world, next to The Outlaw. He goes crazy for The Creator & The Explorer who are the rarest types.

This is due to the fact that The Creator innovates, and The Lover loves to watch and be of service to anyone who creates for others to enjoy. The Explorer values freedom over everything, and The Lover knows how powerful this freedom is to them, to be able to do the things they want to do in the world.

The Creator wants her lovers to always be desiring her. She is a mix of both feminine & masculine energy, waiting to be received, while also feeling aggressive in love and sex. She can be devastated when turned down from someone she wants, but also has a hard time protecting herself from people she doesn’t want.  She prefers The Lover over any other man, because she can see that he has the ability to desire her in the way that she wants.

The problem presented is that she is rare, and there are many more of The Lover out there to chase after her. Making it normal, on some occasions, for The Lover to share The Creator with others. But she likes to be shared.

Evan Peters (The Lover Archetype, The Athlete Nature)

The Lover’s Basic Human Desire is Intimacy

The Lover is easily sold to by appealing to these Categories:
  • Corporate Espionage
  • Dominance
  • Luxury Vehicles
  • Cologne
  • Perfecting Bodies
  • Expensive Wine
  • Indulgent Food
  • Indulgent Travel
  • Beautiful Women
The Lover sells by appealing to these desires of others:
  • Corporate Espionage
  • Dominance
  • Luxury Vehicles
  • Cologne
  • Being Perfect
  • Expensive Wine
  • Indulgent Food
  • Indulgent Travel
  • Being Beautiful
Tony Romo (The Lover Archetype, The Athlete Nature)
Trent Reznor (The Lover Archetype, The Force Nature)

The Lover’s Unique Qualities


The Lover likes to make a statement with his clothes and style, which is what adds to his attractiveness, and makes him transcend out of space and time. He is a statement presenter, whether he showcases himself as a powerful man like Tom Hiddleston or Sebastian Stan, with their dress codes, or like Alexander Skarsgard and his cashcocking branding, or even Evan Peters and his call backs to a more aesthetic time period. He almost wears his “branding” on top of his beauty to prove a point, and to remind you that he carries the world, the world doesn’t carry him. He doesn’t lose his power or attractiveness underneath the weight of his presentation of self–he serves and he THRIVES.


The Lover is an influential figure, wherever he goes, and therefore will showcase his unhealthy behavior as a way of life, and others will follow. If The Lover takes care of himself, the people around him will as well. The Lover can suffer from disordered eating a little more than the other natures, because he holds himself to a separate ideal than others–he does want to be perfect in body, mind and spirit. This conscious thought can cause weight gain, or abnormal weight loss, which have adverse health risks later on in life, but not so much in the moment (The Lover is very in the moment). An interesting fact about his body is that caffeine doesn’t really effect him negatively, but nicotine does, so if he feels he needs a stimulant, cold brew is a better one for him.


The Lover has the secret superpower of Awakening. His presence in a room or a crowd, makes people see again. He reminds others of the space they take up, when he comes near them, and people feel smaller bi-proxy, as if they can tell The Lover is pinpointing their weaknesses and their virtues. He can also see dormant power and wake that up. Most people don’t know what to do with the power they hold, but The Lover does. Most of the time, if The Lover sees someone misusing their power, he’ll come and swipe it to claim it as his. In this case, he can be one of the only copycats that inspires a million copycats of their own.

The Lore of the Lover.

Unique Storylines specifically tailored to your Life Path.

The Monster & Marvel

The Lover is the Werewolf. He Knows how to allow himself personal space away from others, to conjure up a brand new idea or project and give it time to incubate–before putting pen to paper. He makes things happen when the time is right, by unconsciously using the moon cycles, and his feelings.  For example, he feels a new melody, and allows it to incubate over time, before playing it on an instrument; or he feels an idea out that has never been done before, but allows every part to be conducted in silence before sharing. The Werewolf only moves when the moon is at it’s fullest and waits undercover until then–all ideas need to be thought on before delivering, and no idea is without useful meaning, or else it’s garbage to them. (The other Monsters are: Vampire, Lochness, Witch, Frankenstein, and Mummy)

In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Lover is the Space Stone. They eliminate distance through teleportation and manipulation of space. When the Lover walks into a room, the red seas part for him. People don’t stand very close to him, and if they do, they feel weird, as if the Lover is sending them weird frequencies to get them to walk away from him.

The Fairytale & Zodiac

In fairytales, the Lover is Prince Charming to Snow White. The mission is “strangers turned to lovers”. The Lover is the missionary, or magical savior.  The Evil Queen sends the Lover to kill the princess, but the Lover takes one look at her,  and loves her instead. He doesn’t cut out Snow White’s heart, he cuts out a deer’s heart and brings it to the queen to protect the princess, and then he stalks Snow White, and loves her purity while yearning to marry her. He brings on the apocalypse, because he goes against the old ways, and unveils the true queen through his love.

The Lover controls the Zodiac Sign of Aries, meaning he sways the energy of Aries as a collective force. If Aries energy is defective, we can know that the Lover’s energy is also defective. Aries is the sign of self, leadership and ambition, all traits that the Lover owns.

The Tarot Card

The Lover is the Fool. The Fool depicts a youth walking joyfully into the world. He is taking his first steps, and he is exuberant, joyful, excited. He carries nothing with him except a small sack, caring nothing for the possible dangers that lie in his path. Indeed, he is soon to encounter the first of these possible dangers, for if he takes just a step more, he he topple over the cliff that he is reaching. But this doesn’t seem to concern him – we are unsure whether he is just naive or simply unaware. The dog at his heels barks at him in warning, and if he does not become more aware of his surroundings soon, he may never see all the adventures that he dreams of encountering.

To see the The Fool generally means a beginning of a new journey, one where you will be filled with optimism and freedom from the usual constraints in life. When we meet him, he approaches each day as an adventure, in an almost childish way. He believes that anything can happen in life and there are many opportunities that are lying out there, in the world, waiting to be explored and developed. He leads a simple life, having no worries, and does not seem troubled by the fact that he cannot tell what he will encounter ahead.


Most Alike Female

The Female that is most like you--that you do not necessarily want as a romantic partner but understand--is the Ruler, because she desires Control, which is the trait most like Intimacy.

The Toxic Male Trait

The Male that you need to refrain from emulating is the Outlaw, because their desire to Liberate, goes against your code of drawing men & women near you. It's best to respect them & if someone prefers you act like them, walk away, because that person is toxic.

Most Desired Female

The Female that you are most attracted to is the Creator, because she is Innovative, Sexual & Smart, which are the traits you desire next to you the most, as the Lover.

The Toxic Female Trait

The Female energy that immobilizes you is the Caregiver. You are 30% ruled by the energy, but when you try to give too much of yourself to one person or industry, you lose yourself in the process. However, the Caregiver is an expert at giving to you, the Lover.

Pictured on the Right: Christiano Ronaldo is the Champion Nature & David Beckham is the Athlete Nature, both the Lover Archetype.

The Three Minds

Take your Moon sign’s degree and add both parts together until you get a single digit.
(Ex. 23 degrees is 2+3=5. Making you a 5, or “the Champion”)

The Champion:

Single-Focused (Selfish)

Needs to be adored for who they are & who they are trying to be.

They have Visionary Charisma. They have a vision that inspires others to follow them.

If your Moon sign degree adds up to a 1, 5, or 7 you are the Champion. The Selfish and Fearing Lover.


The Athlete:

Dual-Focused (Relational)

Needs to be appreciated for how they meet your needs and others.

They have Focus Charisma. They have a huge presence and make people feel important and heard.

If your Moon sign degree adds up to a 2, 4, or 8 you are the Athlete. The Relational and Loving Lover.


The Force:

Triple-Focused (Selfless)

Needs to be loved for how they love & view the world.

They have Authority Charisma. They are very high in power and status, but not necessarily high in affability.

If your Moon sign degree adds up to a 0, 3, 6, or 9  you are the Force. The Selfless and Giving Lover


Three types of the Lover Archetype

The Champion. The Athlete. The Force.

Shannon Leto (The Champion Nature)
The Rock (The Athlete Nature)
Pope Francis (The Force Nature)

The Champion Nature

The Champion is the Lover Archetype most concerned with his mind and stretching it to its greatest ability. If he is told “no”, he says “yes”, but he is not inherently rebellious. What he is, is completely invested in what he capable of doing, and he loves to showcase his originality over the similarities of the masses. It’s his bravery to do this, that grows overtime. His home and family is his place to retreat from the world and feel protected, and so he will bring that part of his life with him, as he rises to the top. Because his mental state is his pride, he will use it to put his body into submission. If he chooses to neglect his body and pretend it doesn’t exist he either becomes a nobody, with a vagabond way of life, or a hoarder, with a fear of the outside. It’s important that he treats his body as a temple for his mind, so to keep balance, and it’s that body that will give him the earthly power he desires.

The Athlete Nature

The Athlete is the Lover Archetype who runs away from the mainstream audience while capturing the love of the mainstream at the same time. He is seductive by nature, but also aggressive, making him highly sexually and physically charged. If he is aware of these qualities, he can utilize them to rise above his peers in whatever field he enters—giving him that something extra or “it factor”. He is unique but also a chameleon, which gives him the ability to fit in and stand out of any class of people, but he will usually leave the crowd early to spend time alone. If he does keep close company, it’s very few, and he may never actually share the deepest parts of himself, which can cause arguments that he would rather just avoid altogether. If he allows himself to to go down the loner spiral, he may never be able to rise out of it, so it’s good if he does find his “people” and learns who to trust so he can give some of himself to others and share the weight of his heavy soul.

The Force Nature

The Force is the Lover Archetype who runs the group with distance and power over connection and energy. He is an investigator, with a deep and spiritual understanding of ancient metaphors and symbolic connections in the universe, as he likes to dive in to the wonders of the world. He’s also an instigator in feeling, provoking opinions and problems, but he’s not interested in taking care of anybody’s issue after he’s drawn attention to it. He believes more in himself than others have the ability to, and he’s not here for a disagreement—he gets his way or he cuts you out. His fascination with the group as a whole, can make him become reclusive so as not to be swayed by opposite opinion or mob mentality—but he does enjoy controlling the mob. He is at his best when he allows himself to find and submit to a superior being so that he keeps his competing nature in tact and doesn’t let power go to his head.

The Subtypes Seduction Styles

The Champion’s Styles of Seduction:

Prey: The Beauty
Predator: The Siren
(with Visionary Charisma)

Grabbing the attention of the Champion, is knowing their “Victim” or “Prey” Seduction style, and altering some of your own behaviors to align with their wounds.  The Champion knows that they’re beautiful–it’s the source of their power.  But it can make them feel the lack of their other qualities.  Most people worship beauty from far away, and those who come closer only want one thing.  The Beauty can feel isolated.  To seduce: you must worship their body of course (it’s their power), but praise their other virtues, their skills, their principles, etc.  The Beauty has never had to work at romance before; a Beauty will be passive.  Heavy flirtation would be used well here.  But beware!  Beauties are high maintenance.

Recognize Game:

The Beauty is beautiful.

The Siren is someone who takes you down (click here to read more about the Siren).

Visionary Charisma is someone who has a vision that inspires others to follow him.

The Athlete’s Styles of Seduction:

Prey: The Aging Baby
Predator: The Ideal Lover
(with Focus Charisma)

Grabbing the attention of the Athlete, is knowing their “Victim” or “Prey” Seduction style, and altering some of your own behaviors to align with their wounds. Some people never want to grow up, and the Athlete is just that way.  This can be tragic after a while – what was so sexy as a twenty-something can look tragic on a forty-something.  What they desperately want is someone else to be the “adult” in their life.  They want to be taken care of, so that they are free to play more often.  They are like children, and like children they can be narcissists. So appeal to their desire by behaving like their mommy or daddy–nurturing support, advice, knowledge, etc.

Recognize Game:

The Aging Baby is adorable.

The Ideal Lover is someone who knows exactly how to romance you (click here to read more about the Ideal Lover).

Focus Charisma  is someone with a huge presence who makes people feel important and heard.

The Force’s Styles of Seduction:

Prey: The Exotic Fetishist
Predator: The Dandy
(with Authority Charisma)

Grabbing the attention of the Force, is knowing their “Victim” or “Prey” Seduction style, and altering some of your own behaviors to align with their wounds. The Force is not just interested in the new (we all are), but they are obsessed with it as well.  They are really empty on the inside and don’t like who they are.  They think that their exhilaration is far outside themselves–the exotic.  To seduce: make yourself look exotic–make yourself theater to their need for the new.  But their inherent shallowness will make them weary of you quickly, so always be changing.

Recognize Game:

The Exotic Fetishist is obsessed with the new & intriguing.

The Dandy is someone who offers you forbidden freedom (click here to read more about the Dandy).

Authority Charisma is someone who is very high in power and status but not necessarily high in affability.

The Subtypes Genius


Money. Power. Glory.

Being an expert at delivering information through story-telling and an advanced understanding of language, by simplifying complex ideas down to what is exciting and easy to remember. A great writer and performer, with a strong creative flow of thoughts, and an ability to make the mundane feel more exciting, that rarely is blocked—unless they lose access to what makes them human. On the dark side of this gift, they are very good in areas like mediation and HR, as they understand how to cut through the creative spin that other people put on situations, and get straight to the heart of the matter—to see both sides. If they find themselves caught in the middle of other people’s issues or contradictory ideas, they may never find their time to shine in their own right.


The Man in The Middle.

Being a great problem-solver by the way of a high intelligence and social graces—even if they are completely going against the grain, ideologically. This allows them to delegate part of their own ingenious project to very willing participants. They can manipulate to get their way, in what is usually best for the whole of a project of group. A loner so that they may observe and report, and understand the culture and what it needs from them. Usually straightforward writers and speakers, and tend to say more with their facial expressions, which can make them good directors—there is no excess for any reason. On the dark side of this gift they can be very good academically, and consumed by knowledge and learning, trying to gain all the information they can before executing their own vision. If they spend too much time on another person’s study, they may lose their own contribution to society.

The Force’s Genius: WILLPOWER

True Level.

Being a force of nature, using their heart to create the power of an iceberg beneath a tropical island—AKA a strong and stable emotional base, underneath a logical and easily understood exterior. Being able to understand sound and music as a way to curb focus and mood, and being able to create and innovate with that emotional strength. They are meant to shine bright, as a beacon of hope for anyone in pain, and lead others to the light through their physical power and presence. On the dark side of this gift is that they are great in Public Relations and catering or serving, and can tend towards curating another person’s presence and work, to maintain that individual’s mass appeal. This can cause the loss of their own emotional power, losing themselves and their emotional stability, in another person’s tidal wave of demons.

The Subtypes Public Image & Career Path

The Lover falls more Athlete than Artist, but he is both. Using his mental energy to get that money and stability is his motto, but he is nothing if he can’t reconcile his nature with that of his higher ambitions– to touch the world in a better, more emotional way. He has to consistently take his need to think about and analyze what he’s about to do and merge it into the desire to turn that into money, so that he can make the earth stay beneath his feet. He is always taken seriously, but if he doesn’t pay attention to the ones he leads, they will become more lost than before.


Utilizing DIY, mixed-media, gaming or role-playing, and other artist expression that requires precision and massive execution, to get his heart into the world. Recognizing that creating something big over time and not releasing anything until it’s perfect and larger than life, gives him pride in creation. On the flip side, releasing things as he makes them, takes from his ability for precision in execution, and ability to formulate entire ideas with mixed-media and full emotional control. YouTube and Instagram are powerful places for him.


Utilizing his understanding of people, sociology and social media to present his creative endeavors and “mind-children” into the world. He must get through his fear of being exposed, in order to actually relate to others and give him what he needs for influence, otherwise he ends up falling flat and his stories and words fall on deaf ears. Facebook and LinkedIn are powerful places for him.


Utilizing his own power and interest in music, poetry, and the sounds of nature and life, in order to touch the hearts of the people around him. Understanding the way the world works and being in-tune with the living and breathing, is the only way for him to approach his own life, lest he falls into a trap of being a socialite, or power player who can’t care for the world, or add anything of use when he’s gone—just more followers of destructive sheep. He must be wild and untamed and the world will follow his lead. Travel blogs and Streaming services are powerful places for him.

Every male is directly 70% of their nature & indirectly 30% of the female version of them.

30% of The Lover Archetype responds indirectly to The Caregiver Archetype's desire to be of service and be served.

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