The Mercury/Pluto Conjunction in your Natal Chart is very similar to the Mercury/Pluto Conjunction in the Composite Chart, as the Composite Chart is two people acting as one person, or entity. Since Pluto is a generational dwarf planet, This energy takes you away from your truest and highest nature, and consistently throws you in the pit of despair.
At it’s worst this is the nature of the native or natives (in the composite) being too self righteous and up their own asses to see the issues at home, while they judge the shit out of others. This placement can be found in cowards and abusers of self and others, who see themselves as superior, while their whole world is burning down due to their own actions. They will blame everyone else but themselves, and split their minds in half, bending over backwards to make their upside down world make sense.
It can be a sick cycle carousel of emotional & mental anguish and rebirth back into pretending that nothing is wrong. You can fight and yell and scream at others, or the other person in the composite chart, like they are nothing to you, and then remember the next day that they are your best–if not only–friend. It’s you and you together, up against the world, never coming off your high horse.
The house it is in dictates where this energy plays out, but not what it’s doing there, as Mercury/Pluto is always going to be volatile some way or another, and play the martyr just as quickly. This aspect can victim blame and kill innocent people so that they can remain lily white, while remain hoping that they still have what it takes to end up the hero. Only at the end of their rope do they see what they have done, and if they feel like they have gone too far to fix it, so they try to forget it forever.
If this is the Composite specifically, they should never forget what they have done or where they have been, but it’s so hard to leave the other person once they are in this deep, so they try to make arrangements to stay together for the kids, or for their own peace of mind, so that the other person won’t become their biggest enemy, or be lost without them. Mutual abuse is not a factor that is readily seen, but you can tell that others believe it to be true because of how hard the relationship has taken a toll on each person’s confidence. Selfishly they will keep coming back if they can find a mutual enemy to attack, but where there is no such person they will attack themselves or each other.
The idea that no one would ever be a better partner or friend too you, even if they abuse you from time to time–or more often than not–is a really strong deterrent from leaving even if you are miserable. “You’ll never find a better lover than me” can often be heard when one of you tries to find freedom from the mental torment that is your relationship. For better or for worse, you feel tied to them forever. This is often times a very toxic union but can feel like the only thing you have, even putting you into positions to need the other that you have no choice but to stick around in it.
You know the world is hard, and you know achieving glory is hard, but you feel that you know if you aren’t together you will never achieve anything–even if you have already achieved so much on your own, already. “I couldn’t have done this without you” is often heard in the confines of the relationship as a chain that keeps you together forever, even after abuse or trauma has taken root in the relationship.
If this is your Natal Chart specifically, you know that your life & relationships take a lot of work, but you feel like it’s nothing compared to what it would be like if you were someone else. You see everyone else in the world as a potential enemy or threat, so even if you are the enemy to yourself at times, alone in your anguish, it isn’t anything compared to what could be out there acting “dumber than you.”
Remember that hurt people hurt people, so you don’t have to let yourself become a killer just to prove you aren’t a victim anymore. You are scrappy and you are worthy of love, so don’t give up hope, but just know that even you can inflict pain on others because of what you have gone through. The end is just the beginning in a cycle of abuse, so which came first, the abuse you deserved for abusing, or the abuse you took because you were an innocent? Abuse is abuse is abuse, so be good.
