**I previously wrote these words at the moment transit Saturn came into an exact conjunction with my natal Saturn, in November of 2014. I made the video about my Saturn Return, a few months months later. (Please Scroll Down for Video)**
People seem to disagree on when your Saturn Return actually happens. Does it start when Saturn goes into your sign? Or does it start when transit Saturn actually conjuncts your natal Saturn?
I’m going to be a Libra about it, and ease your struggles:
It’s both.
You see, when Saturn enters a sign, we enter a new consciousness as a people.
Saturn entered SAGITTARIUS back in the late 1980’s (And 2015), and we all felt like if we played too hard, and didn’t work, we would miss out on the dollars, all the recognition, and all the good times to be had when we were dead.
Saturn entered CAPRICORN and we couldn’t remember the last time we felt so powerless. Everything was going well in our clouded minds, and now it’s all fucking gone. You can’t even work for it. Bubble burst.
Saturn entered AQUARIUS and we were feeling pretty fucking good about ourselves. Getting away with murder, but then getting upset that no one noticed.
Saturn entered PISCES and delusion, fear and panic swept the world.
Saturn entered ARIES, and we were all like, “Who the fuck am I?” “Why am I a democrat?” “Do I smell like cherries?”
Saturn entered TAURUS and our stability was taken away. My mom left my dad for a year. We moved. I was young, but I’m still dealing with the aftermath of that.
Saturn entered GEMINI, and people were talking. Talking bout people. I hear them whisper. You won’t believe it.
Saturn entered CANCER, family drama either forced us together or apart. Divorce. Abandonment. Sadness. Emotional repression. I for one, realized that I was more than my family, but it was also my “Saturn Trine”, so it did wonders for my growth, unlike my square with Saturn in Leo:
Saturn entered LEO, and we all dealt with ego issues. I remember those years, they were awful. From feeling invincible, to being shot down by every living person. Your own self worth is diminished so that you might build something real from the ashes.
Saturn entered VIRGO, and we were forced to let go of the dreams we’ve had for our lives, and focus on the day to day suckiness of actual existence. I swear, even though these years were easier than Leo, I was so bored, and never felt like a Lion. But I did lose my virginity. So that’s good. (Virgo=Virgin [no more])
Saturn entered LIBRA, and we all had to reevaluate our relationships. I got married, because well, I will have to quote Harry Burns: “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
Saturn entered SCORPIO. People started dying. Chaos ensued. Everybody panicked. And I started my Saturn Return.
———-
I started feeling the pressure of my Saturn Return, the moment Saturn went into my 8th House. The day Saturn went into Scorpio, I actually cheered, because it was no longer conjuncting my SUN. Then I freaked out, because I was so scared of what it was going to mean for my life. Saturn Return has so much stigma around it, and it’s scary to even read about.
Transformation? Ew.
Change? Gross.
Hardships and Loss? Welcome to my life, I thought that part was over already.
Apparently not.
I would be lying if I didn’t say that immediately life got harder in the area that life has always been hard for me.
My Saturn is in Scorpio, in the 8th house.
When it first entered Scorpio, it was still in my 7th house. So it continued to test my relationship with my husband. It brought in outside forces to fuck with us. I even had to get a lawyer (7th house stuff). I was thrilled thinking it would enter my 8th house soon.
-Until I realized how much money I spent on the lawyer. (The 8th house is other people’s money, and being plagued by poor relations.)
-Until someone I helped out during a tough time, publicly pretended to be a victim and tried to dismiss me as a bully, for personal gain. (The 8th house is gossip, and bad blood being spread.)
-Until so many people I had loved, had died. (The 8th house is death.)
-Until I realized that I didn’t feel loved unless I was getting sex everyday. (The 8th house is Sex.)
So have I been going through my Saturn Return these last couple years? ABSO-fucking-LUTELY.
BUT, today was different.
Today I felt anxiety and fear like no other. Today I had my sister cut my hair, because all at once, after ten years, it felt too heavy for my head. Today I looked at the calendar and realized that Saturn had finally moved in to conjunction territory.
This was it. I was feeling the pressures. And I wanted to hide. But seriously, I was forced to be out and about. See people. Read charts. Meet with strangers. Collab. Help a friend out.
Today was kinda my worst nightmare. But it’s over now and tomorrow is new and fresh with it’s own anxieties. And for the the next two weeks I will be living in my exact Saturn Return.
But I must add, with all those setbacks, do you know how much good has happened in the last couple years?
-My YouTube channel grew from 400-30,000 subscribers.
-Due to lack of money, I was forced to make a career out of reading charts, which I never would have done on my own.
-I became a more complete and confident human being.
-I gave birth to a new entity. A human entity.
-I got pregnant again.
-I made so many great connections. with so many beautiful and like-minded individuals.
-I found my path and my purpose.
Saturn Returns are seriously the shit. And I can’t wait to tell you more about what I uncover while Saturn hits home for the the first time in my life.
