all beautiful and smart women are waitresses. your wives can’t even try to hold plates with…

i’ve been to all the best restaurants in chicago. because of the men i’ve dated….

the best restaurants in chicago are through. I WANT TO MOVE. but it was always…

cough it up to one last night. driving home in the daylight. wishing i could…

i know you think it was a fluke that someone choked on some puke. but…

two girls from 7 different universes lie within me. the me i am, and the…

dear south barrington megachurch elite golf club swingers, may i ask you a question? would…

::is what we used to call you:: she’s coming over? oh shit? who is it?…

remember when we kicked your dad off the stage from being drunk and not behaved…