I know you don’t know me
But my names Alyssa Sharpe
In 12 years I’ve made a couple videos
And
The new agers don’t like me
Because they think I make a mockery
Of all that they have come to be
And I’m like so fucking ditsy
I gain weight every year
I move my hands too much
I talk about the stars
But my boobs are my crutch,
I’ve had twenty seven kids
And what seems like 2 years
Why is your breathing so heavy?
Your voice is my worst fear
Grating and lispy
Like involuntary truth bombs
About how my life is such a lie
And so very uninteresting
I could quite possibly be
A false prophet or a cult leader
But let’s not worry about that
No one even watches me
It’s like all I want is fame
But I’ve gone about it the wrong way
I’m so completely lame
Virtual garbage at the end of the day
The other youtubers cancel on collabs
Remove my last name
From videos they’ve had
Me do from time to time
I’ve even tried to rhyme,
No one watched that cancer one,
And it’s where I had the most fun
Speaking of hate
I sound so fucking mean and
I can’t pretend like I didn’t mean it
I’m a shitty actress I mean it
I drank when i was involved in church
So that makes me a hypocrite
Everyone can read me like the book
They read when they take their short shit
I’m 38 years old
And my arms are big as hell
I should wear a sweater
whenever I try to tell
You what to do in one of my preachy videos
All I do is come up with conclusions
I’ve read out of someone else’s book
Except when I make up astrology
And the new age police come and arrest me
For ruining their lives
And dragging them down royally
Can you please sit somewhere else?
This background is boring me
Other astrologers talk the truth
This bitch is heavily lying
I have no fucking friends
Cuz I use them all and sell them out
For fame and glory
But I’ve got no fame and glory
Cuz I’m not fucking finding dory
And I’ll never be
Cuz I don’t know anything about astrology
My self importance is through the roof
But no I don’t care what you think of me
Holy shit alyssa you’re lying!
What?
Of course I’m lying
My whole life is a lie,
I belong on MTV
Because fiction is my reality
You’re in love with pop culture
So you’re vapid as fuck
Will you wash your dirty mouth
Before I throw you in my truck?
And that’s what this means to me
I’m always complaining
About all the people who message me
Sending me requests about their love life
Like its supposed to fucking interest me
I’ve got 500 commitments
And I don’t do any.
I’m as flaky as a libra
Cuz I am one, no you’re a Virgo
Cuz Vedic is the truth
You’re just an idiot American
You look like Baby Ruth
Diss Track for Myself
