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In love, we tend to make decisions based on “The heart wants what the heart wants” right? But what about the more important question, “Why does the heart want what it wants?”

In the Astrology biz that’s what we call Synastry, or a comparison between two people’s charts,

There’s a lot of Astrological-love-match information out there (and it all deserves it’s day in the sun), but I only want to address one conundrum today: Why does the heart want a guy or lady way older than them? What about those love relationships with crazy age gaps?

In Synastry, you can see why certain people do better when they date outside of their “peer age group”, and thrive with those a few years younger or older. This is not an attraction to those you should not be attracted to, this is about two grown-ass adults falling for each other, without regard for age.

If you have an angle (more specifically the Descendant [DC] or Imum Coeli [IC]) or inner, personal planet (Sun, Moon, Venus or Mars) conjunct, or in hard aspect to (square/opposition), an outer, slow-moving, generational planet (Pluto, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus), you would be able to see more clearly, and feel more at ease, in dating outside your generational planet barriers.

Basically, the people you went to high school with, only add to the noise already present in your chart, instead of helping you see through it.

For Example:

It doesn’t do a Venus conjunct Neptune person any good to date someone who’s generational Neptune is conjunct that mess, so they have to move up or down a few years to get Neptune out of range. Neptune is a delusional planet, so the other person is unable to help you take the blinders off in love.

Someone with Pluto on their DC might have to date 8+ years younger or older just to get out of that generational Pluto range and have a relatively normal relationship. Since the DC is the relationship line and Pluto is explosive–in keeping with your age group, you will find all relationships add to that explosive nature, instead of calming it–guaranteeing many tumultuous relationships.

I have Uranus exactly square my Venus and Mars conjunction, so when I meet anyone with my same Uranus, they too trigger some intense warfare inside of me–that almost makes it impossible to converse naturally. I communicate much more effectively with people who have Uranus in Capricorn or Libra, than in the center of Sagittarius. It’s just a weird fact, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible for me to talk someone I’m in love with, it’s just an ordeal.

For these people, they have to face their generational lessons at first, and date in their age group until they are of age, to not to make it weird, illegal or shitty. So I don’t think it wise to ask someone to skip dating altogether, but it might shed some light on why your relationships are just way too explosive, chaotic, delusional, crazy and uneasy.

It might also explain why it’s not strange for people to date outside their generation and actually be amazing.