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Poetry

How to Craft a Perfect Cocktail

first, put it in your mouth
then take it out and tell it that it’s pretty.
it will love that.
and so will he–
you will be the best thing
he’s ever seen.

but don’t not choke
just because you can.
guys like when girls
don’t act like freaking mans.

they like ballerinas
not girls who wear overalls.
they like pretty blondes
not ravenhaired ducklipped
retards with too much time on their hands
to take pics.
because they forgot to get dicks,
get married and have CHILDREN.
blah.
the horror of these types of ravenhaired ducklipped nonchildbearers who like sex and meeting in secret at bars and i digress–

once it’s in your mouth
swallow don’t spit
the reason is this–
guys like a girl who can
shoot whiskey
better than they can.

and blowjobs are nice–
sometimes.

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