i have this gift
where i can manifest something
into my life
by thinking of anything
to do with it.
so i was thinking of you
but my ex popped into my head
i wasn’t making fun of my life, anymore
i was in love with you, instead
i wondered why i had to have him
but i decided to try again, with him
and finally it happened–
there i was just watching a movie
when suddenly
you were sitting right next to me
i said hi
you gave me butterflies
we shared stories
and jumped off quarries
i was trying to picture
you on top of me
then obviously,
interrupted by an atrocity
and you had to go right when
i was hoping
you would come home to get me
but you had a real life
outside of my head
and left to marry
someone who wasn’t pretty
but real to the touch
it was seemingly
way too much
and the end for me
so i got sad and cried
but held my head up high
wished i could fly
to get out of this bad
situation
but had to keep
moving forward
without you
lose my preoccupation
with you
to get myself back into
this public intoxication
no, i meant to say
this toxic humiliation
no, what i’m really trying to say is
you have green eyes
and blonde hair
and your soul is on fire
and your arms are like tires
and all the girls you know are liars
and you run through my mind
i hope you never get tired
i wish the internet was real
but turns out
my career has been fake all along
just like the idea
of you in my arms
and the idea of you
knowing about this song
and that everything i say
is about you.
and all the things you do
are really cute
and i really like you.
i was thinking about you
then again,
my past popped in my head
he told me to stop
dragging him in to my shit
but i couldn’t stop, when it hit
i said, “what do you think about
podcasting and fake dj’s and this
professional wrestler
who’s also a boxer
and boys who are alphas?”
and he got jealous
said “you probably like him”
and i said, “i do and
i would tell him
that i think he is handsome,
but our future looks grim
and i’m not allowed to meet him.”
then one day
it sort of felt like a dream
you heard my thoughts that i mean
and you answered and said,
that you liked me too.
i didn’t forget that you
gave me my self-esteem
in a way that i will forever believe
and for that reason i knew
i wasn’t alone in my bed
they were your thoughts in my head
and it made me feel
so many things
that are real
and this shit in my life
could finally heal
a little bit more
than i had currently
explored
your fiance
got so mad
she baby trapped you
got me sad
i was wondering if you
liked my eyes
the whole time
knowing you can’t try
to save me from this hell i’m in
just sitting in my bathroom and
getting naked in the shower
while other people watch me
counting the hours
until the day that i can get
the fuck out of here
and on some better shit
when it hit
you have green eyes
and blonde hair
and your soul is on fire
and your arms are like tires
and all the girls you know are liars
and you run through my mind
i hope you never get tired
i wish the internet was real
but turns out
my career has been fake all along
just like the idea
of you in my arms
and the idea of you
knowing about this song
and that everything i say
is about you.
and all the things you do
are really cute
and i really like you.
so if you’re reading this
and you have the time
dump your fake wife
and just be mine
i promise i’ll never degrate you
we come from the same place,
you know
and if she ever publicly hates on you
she’d be the disgraced one,
you know
i’m on the internet
you’re on the internet
we live together
but separately
on the internet
and i’m desperately
trying to get you
to notice you’re in my head
so that you can crawl
back into my bed
and be on the internet
together
forever
you have green eyes
and blonde hair
and your soul is on fire
and your arms are like tires
and all the girls you know are liars
and you run through my mind
i hope you never get tired
i wish the internet was real
but turns out
my career has been fake all along
just like the idea
of you in my arms
and the idea of you
knowing about this song
and that everything i say
is about you.
and all the things you do
are really cute
and i really like you.
we could be
on the internet
together
forever
and maybe get
another cool better job together, too
one that’s real
like i swear i am
or at least, used to be
