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Poetry

they all think i want to fuck up their marriages

i reach out
i know i’m still pretty
maybe more now
cuz i’m not old
and i am divorced
i am trying to be free
i want to fuck
and enjoy life
for the first time
since FUCK,
like the beginning of time.

and they sit there
“don’t hurt my marriage
to this ugly woman with no job,
who fucks my kids,
and complains about money,
and spends it on lettuce,
that goes bad in my fridge
and then hangs out with my best friend’s wife
so we can drink beer
and whack it to your videos.”
NO.
don’t become real alyssa.
don’t fuck up my bullshit life.
don’t show me you’re better than my ugly, stupid wife.
DON’T.
i want to die unhappy.
SO LET ME!

and so i will.
but i won’t.
i’m going to find alexander skarsgard
or chris evans
or sebastian stan
or tom hiddleston.
and remember i left that world on purpose.

it just would have been easier
if one of you,
who i used to love,
loved me enough to keep me.

but you like it in your cave,
where i’m porn
and your wife is corn
and i’m a threat
cuz i just did it better,
than you expected.

i’m never going back home.
come here.
or don’t.
i’m not begging.