The Harvard Law Grad >
< The Vanderbilt
Pictured: David Beckham & Zane Hijazi
Do not, I repeat, do not go for the hot blonde’s friends, as the John Nash Nobel Memorial Prize would suggest. You will suffer the consequences. Instead, look at the skin of the person you want, and determine if they are a Vanderbilt or a Harvard Law Grad.
Not everyone looks good with tattoos. In fact, about half the population of the world does not. What looks good on your skin, actually dictates a very important part about the native, when it comes to intimacy.
A Vanderbilt, looks great in tattoos and bad with scars/cuts, and believes that giving and getting head, is less intimate than sexual intercourse. A Harvard Law Grad, looks bad in tats, and great with scars/cuts, but believes that sexual intercourse is less intimate than giving and getting head.
There are other observations about these people. So first, know thyself, know they partner, and then read up on your intimacy issues below.
Logan & Jake Paul. They might be brothers–but they fuck you differently.
the game theory: who are they, when they take off all their clothes?
Scotty Sire, Ruby Rose & Megan Fox’s tattoos do not pull you down to look at them–Even with many tats, the viewer still focuses on their faces, which is an easy way to point out a Vanderbilt.
The Vanderbilt
You serve my dick.
(Looks Great in Tattoos, Looks Bad in Scars & Cuts)
- Blowjobs & eating out, are less intimate than straight sex.
- They will throw you down on their dick or pussy, and think it’s fine.
- They quote other people, films, or books heavily, instead of making their own words things up.
- Mean when Nervous.
- Dog lovers. Look GREAT with large, scary dogs, and love like a large, scary dog.
- Likes to serve their new piece. Also known as: Serving ::blank space::
- Motto: I’m serving my new girl/guy, when it’s time to serve.
- “You like–LOVE me.”
- Athlete first, Pretty second–in bed.
- Run away fast, but come back to get you.
- Carving notches in their bed posts. AKA: Always counting sexual exploits.
- Uses bedknobs to fly. AKA: they are taken away by sex–it blows their mind.
- They will be your number one, with a bullet.
The Harvard Grad
We make love.
(Looks Great in Scars & Cuts, Looks Bad in Tattoos)
- Sex is less intimate, than going down on someone.
- They have very strong necks, to get away from being thrown down on your cock or pussy.
- They quote themselves all the time.
- Nervous when Mean.
- Puppy lovers. Look GREAT with puppies, and also love like a puppy.
- Likes to question why you are serving your new guy or girl, before they have committed. Also known as: Why are you serving ::blank space::?
- Motto: Who are you serving? That sucks, get off the ground.
- “I like, LOVE you.”
- Pretty first, Athlete second–in bed.
- Stay to see if you’re good for it, then leave if you’re not, and never come back.
- Writing lines about you in songs. AKA: not counting sexual exploits–psychoanalyzing them.
- Uses broomsticks to fly. AKA: sex doesn’t take them away, witchcraft does.
- They have a loaded God-complex, cock it and pull it.
